Friday, August 17, 2012

What the Heck?

I'm still a bit confused about this whole Internet dating thing. Just to update, I have not heard anything from DJ Trivia Guy since my last post. Shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders....

I have to admit that I've been less than regular about checking in on Jdate and Eharmony. Imagine my surprsie when I looked at Eharmony mid last week and had a message waitng for me. It was from a guy who I'll call CYT, short for Cute, Young and Tall who happens to be 6'2" and 10 years younger than me. We had talked via the Net and texting for a while several months ago and I felt like I had gotten to know him fairly well. 

It was mid March, and we had just started "talking" as my teenage daughters tell me it's called. "Talking" is the precurser now to going out. So CYT had sent me a message on Eharmony, and we started trading messages back and forth. He then sent me his cell number so we could text directly. That was a life saver since at the moment, I was on a 13 hour bus ride with my daughter's 8th grade class. Flirting with a cute guy sure helped pass the time. During the week long trip, we texted quite often and got to know each other pretty well. We even see eye to eye politically. 

After a few days, I felt like I was the one making all of the effort to communitcate. So to test this theory, I stopped initiating the conversations every morning. Surprise, surprise, I didn't hear anything from him. Until last week. 

He had left me a message on Eharmony. He was trying to text me and accidentally deleted my number. Ok. I can buy that. So I answered him with my cell number.

He texted back pretty quickly and we went back and forth all morning. Not only is he Cute, Young and Tall, but he is in Human Resources and I happen to be looking for a job. 

After sending him my resume, we decided to meet for lunch THAT DAY! I hurried up to get myself ready and met him at a local burger joint. We had an amazing time. He even asked me out for the following Friday night and left me with a quick peck on the lips and a swat on the tush. 

I'm all for being direct and not playing games, but I'm wondering if what happened next is the new normal, or do I just seem to attract guys who are just a bit off? So CYT makes it quite clear to me that among other things, he is not interested in a relationship unless the sex is interesting and often, starting pretty much immediately. Now don't get me wrong. I happen to really like sex, have been known to be a bit kinky even and am not opposed to having it early and often in a relationship.  But to have it laid out (pun intended)  like that in black and white hasn't happened to me before. So after a quite lively conversation in which I neither committed to, or opposed hot sex in the near future, guess what? I DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM ABOUT GOING OUT TONIGHT! 

What is with men these days? Have the egos gotten so out of control that women have to initiate everything? I'd love to hear from you all about your experiences. Have things changed that much in the 20ish years I was not on the dating scene? It's a whole new world out there.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Dating Services, Yay or Nay?

What do you think about dating services? I haven't had very good luck with them... The ones I've paid for are Jdate and Eharmony. Hey, if my 75 year old aunt can meet a man on Eharmony, I think my odds are pretty good.

The very first guy I met on Jdate turned out to be a winner, for a while. We ended up dating for about 2 months. Not a great track record but I have to say that while we were going out, I was almost thinking I could marry this guy. I figured out that he didn't feel the same way when he broke up with me by text. We stayed friends (and still are) on Facebook. I see now that he's dating someone again who he told me long ago that her drinking issue was a major deal breaker. Go figure.

There were a few other dates here and there.  I have to preface this next story with I try not to let my kids know about any of my dating habits until if and when it is serious enough for them to know.

There was one loser I traveled an hour to meet. Well, I didn't know he was a loser at the time. The most interesting thing that happened on our first date was that as we were sitting in a beach bar having a bite to eat and some drinks, one of my daughter's best friends walked in. Really? An hour away from home?

The most interesting thing that happened on our second date was that it didn't happen after I drove again an hour to meet him. He didn't have an exact meeting place in mind, and kept trying to get me to go to his friend's house which was another half hour from home. I've read the newspapers. "Single women goes out with guy she met online. Ends up in pieces in his friend's garage."  No thanks. Needless to say that one ended up with me heading home before I ever saw him. That was the end of that "relationship."

The strangest thing to happen with a dating service was matching me up with someone I already knew. I had been introduced to this guy about a year before by another friend who will be the subject of his own blog post some day. Just remember Trivia Guy.

So Trivia Guy introduced me to we'll call him DJ Trivia Guy about a year ago. DJ Trivia Guy helped me out with an event I was putting on. We see each other every couple of months. Not too often. So fast forward to about a month ago. I received a text from him asking if I had seen the ematches yet that day. It took me a long while to figure out what he was talking about. When it finally dawned on me that Eharmony had matched us up, I wondered what he thought about that. We decided to go out and see where it would go. We met for breakfast and had a great time. Talked and/or texted every day for the next week. Then nothing. What the @#$%&?

I think it's time to save my money and take a break from dating services for a while. Tell me your horror or success stories. I'd love the hear them.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Ya think you really know someone...

When you become suddenly single, it is interesting to see what others reactions are. I remember in particular one night when a long time friend I'll call Alaskan Diver for the purpose of this story, or AD for short. AD had been a friend of mine and my husband's for years. We spent many hours scuba diving and just hanging out with him. Over the years we met his now ex-wife and a whole string of girlfriends and jobs that followed. As much as I love AD, he is the kind of guy who will never grow up. In the 25 years  I've known him, he has been a SCUBA instructor, salvage diver, salmon fisherman, freight ship captain, underwater photographer, cruise ship dive program coordinator and many more things I'm sure I've forgotten. But he is a loveable guy who I've always had fun with. 

So fast forward to about a year after I became single. AD came to town to visit and of course he decided to stay with me. We went out for a night on the town. Had a blast. Headed downtown walked around, got something to eat, stopped in to a few bars, probably drank more than we should have....

We are standing in the parking garage getting ready to head home. Being the gentleman that he is, AD is standing next to me opening my car door. Next thing I know, he leans over and kisses me. (Which as an aside, I have to say was quite enjoyable) But huh? How did that happen? Not only has he had the same girlfriend for several years, but where did this come from? He was never anything less than a perfect gentleman while I was married. So, am I all of a sudden fair game since I'm single? Had he been harboring secret carnal thoughts about me all along? Unfortunately, I am not going to reveal a long awaited insight to the psyche of the male mind. If I knew that answer, I wouldn't be writing in the little known blog. I'd be rich and famous. But alas, while that may come at a future date, I have no clue how the male mind works. 

By now I'm sure you are wondering whatever became of AD and I and our budding(?) relationship. I am happy to report that our little foray over to the dark side did not affect our friendship whatsoever. I still see him when he comes to town, we keep in contact long distance and remain the good friends we always were. Interestingly enough, neither of us has ever mentioned our little indiscretion, but I can tell by the little twinkle in his eye that although we will probably never go back there, he has not forgotten that evening...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Who knew that life could take such an unexpected yet pleasurable turn....?

Seven years ago, I unexpectedly won the OMG I'm in my late 40's with greying hair, sporting a few extra pounds, and now I'M SINGLE AGAIN lottery. 

After 17 of what I thought were pretty good years of marriage, my husband came home from work one day and announced that he wanted a divorce. But I'm not here to dwell on that. I've always been a pretty chill kind of person, and soon realized that sometimes life does suck and it isn't fair. But I also realized that I was going to have to put on my big girl panties, (or maybe thongs to go with my new single life) and deal with it.

Ten years ago, if someone had told me what my life would be like now, I would have had them carted off to the loony bin. Me divorced? Only have my kids part time? Out on school nights drinking, playing trivia and who knows what else? Having my very married female friends live vicariously through my stories of men, flirting, drunken escapades and all sorts of debauchery?

Well check back soon to hear the stories and adventures that a normally level headed, somewhat run of the mill mom of three teenagers, make me scratch my head and think "really? REALLY? This is really my life now?"